Your wife is your friend

 saudigazette

Your wife is your friend

Picture this; you are heading to your friend’s house to watch a soccer game. Before you reach, your friend gives you a call.

He says, “Bro, don’t forget to stop by the market and bring some chips and soft drinks!”

You reply, “Good thinking, right away man!”

You watched the soccer match and had a great time hanging out with your buddies. Now, you’re heading home, and guess what?

Your wife calls. You grudgingly answer and she says, “Baby, we need some bread, and butter so I can make you a sandwich to take to work tomorrow.”
You reply, “What? I just bought some bread 3 days ago, what is wrong with you? You are just wasting my money!”

Reading different articles and different studies show that the divorce rate is increasing at an alarming rate worldwide. According to one particular study, 1 in 5 marriages in Saudi Arabia end in divorce.

The definition of marriage in Islam is: A contract that results in the man and woman living with each other and supporting each other within the limits of what has been laid down for them in terms of rights and obligations.

The scholar, Ibn Othaimeen, says, “It is a mutual contract between a man and a woman whose goal is for each to enjoy the other, building a pious family and a sound society.”

Webster’s definition of marriage is: the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law.

In my opinion, if spouses treat one another with mutual respect and love, marriage is really living the dream; it is about helping one another to be a better person and to please the Creator.

Is marriage obligatory?

According to many Islamic scholars, marriage is recommended. However, for certain individuals it becomes wajib (obligatory). The general opinion is that if a person, male or female, fears that if he/she does not marry they will commit fornication, then marriage becomes obligatory. If a person has strong sexual urges then it becomes obligatory for that person to marry.
Marriage should not be put off or delayed, especially if one has the means to do so.

A man, however should not marry if he does not possess the means to maintain a wife and future family.

The general rule is that the Prophet (peace be upon him) enjoined people to marry.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “When one marries, they have fulfilled half of their religion, so let them fear God regarding the remaining half.” (narrated by Anas ibn Malik)

Islam greatly encourages marriage because it shields one from wrongful actions and upholds the family unit.

The wife has many rights which the husband is obligated to uphold.

Maintenance

The husband is responsible for the wife’s maintenance. This right has been established in the Qur’an and Sunnah.

It is inconsequential whether the wife is Muslim, non-Muslim, rich, poor, healthy or sick. It is the husband’s role to bear the financial responsibility of the family in a generous way so that his wife may be assured a decent living.

This entails the wife’s right to housing, clothing, food, and general care, like medication, hospital bills. He must provide for her, according to his means. The wife’s home must be adequate so as to ensure her privacy, comfort, and independence.

If a woman used to have a maid previously in her family, or if she is unable to attend to her household duties, it is the husband’s duty to provide her with a maid or domestic help if he can afford to do so.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “The best Muslim is one who is the best husband.”

Mahr

The wife is entitled to a marriage gift that is her own. This may be prompt or deferred depending on the agreement between the parties. A marriage is not valid without mahr, and it is for the wife, not her father or brother or anyone else. It does not have to be money or gold. It can be non-material. Mahr is a gift from the groom to the bride. This is the Islamic law, unlike some cultures whereby the bride’s parents pay the future husband to marry the daughter. This practice degrades women and is contrary to the spirit of Islam. There is no specification in the Qur’an as to what or how much the mahr has to be. It depends on the parties involved.

Non-material rights

A husband is commanded by the law of God to treat his wife with equity, respect her feelings and show kindness and consideration. The Prophet’s last sermon that he gave to the Muslim community before his death stressed kindness to women.

As for the husband’s rights; among the wife’s obligations is to contribute to the success and happiness of the marriage. She should be attentive to the comfort and wellbeing of her husband, and vice-versa of course.

The wife should be trustworthy and honest. She cannot deceive her husband by deliberately avoiding conceiving. She should not have any sexual intimacy with anyone other than her husband. She should not receive or entertain strange males in the house without his knowledge and consent. She should not accept gifts from other men without his approval. This is meant to avoid jealousy, suspicion, and gossip. She should not dispose of his belongings without his permission.

A wife should make herself attractive to her husband and be responsive to his advances. The wife should not refuse her husband without reason as this may lead to marital problems. The husband, of course, should take into account the wife’s health and consideration of circumstances.

The best description that I have ever read describing the closeness of husband and wife to each other is the description in the verse in the Qur’an which says: {they are your garments and you are their garments}. (Chapter 2, verse 187)
Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, comfort, cover, support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans.

There is always time and room for fun in the marriage too.

Remember that our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She outran him but later after she had gained some weight, he outran her.

Remember that the Prophet (peace be upon him) took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances.

Caring about your spouse’s emotions is just as important as taking care of the physical needs. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating.

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Article by: saudigazette.com.sa/